silently struggling once again..i think some people are under the impression that if its shared internally, it doesn't need to be shared externally... i suppose because its how it always was, up until a couple of years ago there was not much choice..people restricting each other, and me feeling as though i couldn't challenge this because they are/were stronger than me. now there are people outside that care, I want to share, i want to reach out.
they still can't.thus, unless its just me around, i can't
its all a bit confusing at the moment
I don't know whether anyone can relate, it really sucks. When I was IP in an adolescent unit they told me I was "rude" "silly" "attention seeking" etc. Then last year a doctor actually listened and thought I might have epilepsy. Sure enough a brain scan has shown I have abnormalities and they've referred me to a neuropsychiatrist with suspected temporal lobe epilepsy. If they decide that's what's wrong with me, I think it will be instead of Dissociative Disorder, but I was very clear that I don't think I have EUPD (also known as Borderline Personality Disorder) and my doctor told me she agreed with me and that she thought the working diagnosis is Dissociative Disorder etc etc and is going to update my records.
It's been a long hard road out of hell as they say, but I'm so glad I finally have people who understanding my condition.
I don't know if anyone here can relate? An example of me at my worst is being completely paralysed, unresponsive for over 5 hours. Eventually an ambulance was called and I was taken to a&e, thankfully I "came back" from where I go (the grey world I call it), just in time to prevent going IP.
I really hate it because it's so hard to fight, it feels like I have no control.
glad things are beginning to clear up for you a little, at least enough for you to get some kind of grasp on what the deal is. dissociative diagnosis is notoriously horrible, sometimes i think they'd rather think of anythinging and everything else before even allowing dissociation to be considered. despite being very aware of parts for as long as i can remember i only recieved an official diagnosis of DID after just under a decade of being labelled almost anything they could throw at me...ergh! i'm sorry you've been caught up in all of that rigmorole and they're actually paying good due attention.
i can relate to unresponsiveness also. one thing i really hate is when my body is taken over, but i'm not aware of the person in control, and yet fully aware of my surrounding- unable to move, speak etc. hate it
hope things move forward for you and you get as much support as you need
Hey everyone.
How are you all?
We've missed you guys!
We've had a lot of things happeb in the past couple of weeks:
We broke up with our SO of 3 years
We got discharged from hospital today and we've got some dodgy-arse virus that is making us feel like *****.
We're trying to get as much rest as possible.
Take care of yourselves,
lostboys
It's a bit hectic inside. So loud. Nobody will shut up. Everybody's usually asleep by now. 4 are still awake and it's so loud and distracting. I want to sleep but it's just getting to me. I don't usually have much trouble tuning it out or focusing on something else but it's so quiet and i'm alone so i have nothing to distract me or anything. bleh.
btw my pm box is open to anybody who needs it and i'll reply asap =]
btw we're glad to see you back BB!
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
I'm probably gonna be out for the psych evaluation thing and ... i don't know. should i be myself? how would the psych react if i started talking in the 3rd person about kyle or started talking as a plural? >.< We had to put Kyle in iso again because he kinda ... flipped
would it be a good idea during a review thing to see if he's okay for i think it's some kinda new therapy
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time kat. Do you know what makes him do those things or makes him want to hurt you? I hope you feel better and not so angry soon. I think vetis getting out now would be a bad idea.
Take care
Kyle
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
I've spent a lot of time on this particular thread, so I wanted to stop by and let you all know that I'm leaving the site. Best wishes to all of you, you're in my thoughts. :)
oh no facet! you'll be missed. i'll go on aim from time to time and say hi if you're on. Take care, good luck with everything and if you ever want come back and pm me ;D
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
At school they commented on the change in handwriting. He goes to a special school cos of his mental health and there's a chance they'll guess.
We're not ready for them to know.
On top of that laura talking in the third person to a teacher ... this is not good.
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
Hey guys, I know I said I was leaving, and I fully intended to, but I'm just so lame that this place gives me a sense of fulfillment that I don't get anywhere else - helping others and being able to relate to people going through the same thing. I missed it, even though it wasn't that long. I was obviously not ready to leave the site, but in a moment of irrationality, thought I didn't need it. So sorry if I confused anyone...but I'm back, and will be here for quite a while, I think. I'm really sorry, again. I hope no one is mad at me. I feel so stupid.
do not want the 9th to come around.
Do not want saturday.
I don't know if i can physically stop her or not.
Laura is meeting somebody on saturday. she wants to kill them. they agreed knowing what laura wants. Why? I don't know if i can stop her or not. Laura is being underestimated.
They say they wont hurt each other. That'll change the moment they see each other.
suggestions?
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
