Is there any way you could gradually work towards reducing the medications you are overdosing on? For example, set yourself a target of throwing a way one extra pill/day.
Do you know what it is that is making you feel like you need to overdose? I understand an overwhelming sense of pain, but do you know where that pain is coming from? It seems to me that if you can tackle the root cause of the pain then you would feel less need to overdose.
Do you have any methods of distraction when you want to take tablets? The RYL distraction section on here contains a number of annyoyingly engrossing, addictive and entertaining games. I sometimes find attempting a cross word, or sudoku or some basic sums. Sometimes actually going out of the place where the pills are-for example going for a walk althugh not so practical at midnight! Calling a friend for a chat or going into a room with other people.
At the end of the day, the only thing overdosing is going to do is store up a whole load of health problems for you so that you feel physically rubbish as well as mentally rubbish.
What would have to change in your life for you not to feel like this? Perhaps that is a question you could start to think about, then maybe it would give you a starting block. Also I really think you should go see your doctor and just get a few physical checks done, like blood tests just to keep an eye on the impact of your actions on your body. It may also make them sit up and question whether you are getting enough of the right kind of support, given the fact that you are doing this.
Much love
Beckyxxx
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