i absolutely love this site as i'm on it pratically everyday.
I have noticed though since V2 even the littleist things get moved/locked/removed.
yes some posts i do agree need locking and what have ya.
i can remember the slow labour thread. we didn't get to air our views that much coz they always got removed. YES i know i had that 3 page rant with vicki but to this very day i'm proud of that. Due to her
but tbh we really should be able to air our views against members/posts
You say 'yes some posts i do agree need locking and what have ya.' This is YOUR opinion. YOU might think i thread doesn't need locking, so YOU automatically think that it's the wrong decision if it is locked. But why is your opinion right and the mods opinion is wrong if they choose to lock it? You obviously can't see what they do. Secondly the mods give an explanation of why a thread is locked each time and if anyone has any questions then feel free to ask them. So you can argue your point there, but to be honest, being cautious on a self harm site is the right way forward. Different things bother different people and the mods try to do what's best for the majority, if it doesn't effect you, so be it, it could effect others which is why they decide to act upon it if they feel it's necessary. Another thing is that moderating on the internet must be one of the hardest things. Everyone is just reading words on a screen. Then WE interpret it to how we think they meant it. We don't know if a person is being sarcastic, bitchy, genuine, because it's just words, we don't know how they are trying to say it.. So being extra cautious is what the mods sometimes do. What's the problem with that?
You say about the labour thread - how many pages was that again? It was open enough for you to air your views, but as once again a thread gets heated - why keep it open for enough people to get flamed and out of hand. We're all given the opportunity to speak to a mod about any decision, so if you're not happy then do so.
And as for the 'but tbh we really should be able to air our views against members/posts' how about if you have a problem, instead of making it public which then would turn into flaming - which is against the rules, you either take it up with a mod or take it up with the person themself through pm. That way you get your voice herd to the necessary people, without anyone causing a fuss as there is no need for general nasty-ness and that is what RYL is turning into lately, if the mods don't get there quick enough.
* This isn't aimed just at you either, it's general.
I don't think the moderators are Nazis and I agree that it's totally out of order to compare anybody to Nazis, however once a thread of mine got locked on the First Aid board and I didn't know why, cos I really needed the advice at the time, but I guess what I was talking about was against the rules? Maybe I didn't read the first aid rules properly enough.
I think most of the time people aren't reading the rules properly really
and generally the moderators are great!
And I definatly think that on RYL we all get the chance to air our views and opinions
But if airing your views means just having a big slag off session it shouldn't be allowed,
I dunno, I haven't been using the site like, forever so I dunno :-P
"In the driest whitest stretch of pains infinate desert, I lost my sanity, and found this rose"
Airing views about members and/or posts is fine, as long as they do not flame the member, and are considerate and well thought through.
What good does it do to attack a member because you don't like them? Everyone is different, and you have to be tolerable on this site of other people. If you can't tolerate all different types of people then a large community like this is not the place for you.
If everyone expressed their opinions on people and posts how and when they wanted to, then it would become an extremely bitchy, uncomfortable and unsafe place.
This is a self-harm support website fundamentally, and there are people with very fragile self-image and such. This community is to help people, not to go on about them if you don't like them.
once a thread of mine got locked on the First Aid board and I didn't know why, cos I really needed the advice at the time, but I guess what I was talking about was against the rules? Maybe I didn't read the first aid rules properly enough.
If you ever get a thread locked and don't know why, or don't understand what you did wrong or fully understand the rules, then please please please contact someone about it.
We're quite welcome to look into it for you, and to explain why the said action was taken. A polite PM asking for that will not bother us in the slightest, and it's best to know what you've done wrong so that you can learn from your mistakes. :)
There are reasons behind why threads get locked deleted and if you have an issue about why you can always contact a moderator....We dont just delete threads for no reason. Being called a Nazi is actually very hurtful, we dont lock/delete threads because we feel like it, we moderate to help make the whole community feel safe and like they can have an opinion.
To me it seems recently, if you're not agreeing with the majority you get mocked and basically jumped on by others. I cant express enough how we dont lock threads because we feel like it, there is always a reason for it.
Were not nazis, were not robots and its as hurtful to us to be called names or get abuse from people as it is to everyone else.
Liv.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
aww I think the mods do a great job
and it's always going to come down to a difference of opinion and so thats what the rules are there for.
break the rules then you should expect to get it deleted or locked.
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
I don't have anything constructive to say, as I don't really care enough.
But I would just like to say, knowing the majority of people who refer to them as 'cool points', I very very much resent this comment. =]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Rabbit Lady
but a couple of people spring to mind who use them and I don't think I could articulate what I think of them in a way that would be appropriate.
That really made my blood boil as I highly doubt you've met them, had conversations with them. You're judging someone over a website, do you realise how ridiculous that is?
Just made me angry.
With regards to the topic, actually.
The people who use these terms aren't bullies, they want to have fun on a website which their friends are members without feeling that they have to censor everything they say. I don't necessarily agree with the terms, but I can agree with their frustration at the sometimes overly-moderated forums.
I can't understand how on Earth people can say 'Nazi' Moderators or cool points!? I assume people using this term use it so that they do not feel as bad when they seriously upset/bully someone and get an infraction against them. They also may simply jealous (and have issues with) authority figures... tbh, i don't know! I've personally found the mods to be very nice and polite, they have helped when there have been issues on RYL and banned people when they have posed a risk to other members. The only minor problem I've ever had is a lack of reply to a PM, but i assume that is simply down to a slip-up in communication between two mods due to a busy time and one going on holiday. Thus, the mods do a wonderful job and I'm rather ashamed of my fellow members for using such terms. Furthermore, i would like to point out that this is the view point from a person who has received an infraction (ashamedly -with a prompt public apology-) and has helped out a friend who has had serious problems with another member (neither of which will have any details shared); so I have seen the mods solve a couple of problems around the site ranging in their seriousness. And i believe that they should be given the utmost respect. I am very much one for debate, in accordance with, i will happily debate this with anyone. (Y)
As for locking threads, the threads that i have seen locked and posts edited/deleted have been deserved that action to be taken. I personally believe that no member should have the right to make a comment or remark about an individual other member, though i don't see what is wrong about airing opinions and i have not seen a thread deleted for such a thing. That is including the threads inspired about me and posts airing my opinion! including: Glowing Testicles; rugby/football, Human culling rather than elephant culling; feeding seagulls bi-carbonate of soda with bread; my mass of innuendos and the whole basis of my creative corner >thread<!!! If we are unable to air opinions and feelings, how come i am still a member and how come i am yet to receive a point on my profile? I am generally careful and respectful about how i word what i say and how it can be interpreted depending on where i am posting, hence how i can get away with what i say! How can people say such things about the moderators when they are doing a job? When they are here for your protection? When they are so polite, doing so much behind the scenes, yet receiving no thanks for what we don't see!!
It is simply down to a vulgar mixture of arrogant selfishness and a lack of respect which has brought around these terms! Many times i have felt like PMing the Mods to say thankyou for some things which they have done, no matter how little it is, though have not wanted to waste their valuable time. They are the cement between the bricks of what is the safe-haven called RYL, the site would simply crumble without them.
While i'm here, i will say thankyou to the Mods for all those times i've wanted to. Thankyou Mods!!! ;]
they want to have fun on a website which their friends are members without feeling that they have to censor everything they say.
I understand that, but if you want to have fun on a website without feeling restricted, and feel RYL is too censcored, then why not use a different website?
RYL does have fairly strict rules compared to a lot of sites around, so why don't people agree to use a different website? There are plenty of other self-harm ones around, where conversations people get told they can't have here can have there.
I'm not saying "get lost" to anyone, but perhaps it would suit people more if that was to happen. Stick around at RYL all you like, just keep the stuff that we prefer not to have to other places where they are more lax.
I don't have anything constructive to say, as I don't really care enough.
But I would just like to say, knowing the majority of people who refer to them as 'cool points', I very very much resent this comment. =]
That really made my blood boil as I highly doubt you've met them, had conversations with them. You're judging someone over a website, do you realise how ridiculous that is?
Just made me angry.
With regards to the topic, actually.
The people who use these terms aren't bullies, they want to have fun on a website which their friends are members without feeling that they have to censor everything they say. I don't necessarily agree with the terms, but I can agree with their frustration at the sometimes overly-moderated forums.
Erm... so it's not ok for Crazy Rabbit Lady to make a polite comment about 'them' but it's fine for anyone to slag off mods, when very few people have met them or had a conversation with them actually (that isn't based on points). Because what,. mods aren't people? Mods don't have feelings? Mods are what?
I've not been here very long, although I did lurk for a bit beforehand. Recently things in General Chat have been a bit off-balance and, in my opinion, cliquey. For example, last night's thread about the "cool people only" and telling others to get out of a thread was a bit far. And there have been other threads which, to me, were pretty pointless. I think some of those got deleted though.
I have no problem with moderators, and can totally understand why they are needed, especially on a site such as this. People initially come here to either find out about or get support for their self harm, eating disorder, or other problem and so to be caught up in a flaming argument or not made to feel welcome can be quite destructive for them.
I understand that, but if you want to have fun on a website without feeling restricted, and feel RYL is too censcored, then why not use a different website?
RYL does have fairly strict rules compared to a lot of sites around, so why don't people agree to use a different website? There are plenty of other self-harm ones around, where conversations people get told they can't have here can have there.
I'm not saying "get lost", but perhaps it would suit people more if that was to happen. Stick around at RYL all you like, just keep the stuff that we prefer not to have to other places where they are more lax.
I don't think it's fair to even ask people why they don't just use another site tbh. At the end of the day whether they like it or not their friends are here, they know this place, the people, etc. Despite the restrictions they're not going to want to leave, because this is on the whole 'what they know'. I don't think it's fair to suggest to them to leave tbh, because there are alot of other factors that keep people here, besides the rules/infractions etc..?
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
That really made my blood boil as I highly doubt you've met them, had conversations with them. You're judging someone over a website, do you realise how ridiculous that is?
To be honest, the people that spring to mind I have had conversations, many infact, and have been 'burned' by them myself. So it's not anyone that is unknown to me, they are most certainly very known.
Isn't this whole thread about judging people over the internet though? Judging mods? Judging other members and being allowed to voice your opinion about them?
ETA- I have just checked into the RR and it seems a lot of it comes from there. In which case that section is totally irrelevent to me as I have never been in there before nor talked to most of the people there. My comments actually go back to the people who think they are cool and are nasty with it. So it was not directed any you or anyone else in the RR.
I'm not saying they should leave, but perhaps use other places alongside RYL, so that people can say what they want without feeling overly censcored and restricted.
I know you can't make people leave, I wouldn't want to make people leave, but why not use more than one site for varying things?
Not highly practical, I know, but perhaps more comfortable for everyone involved.
Erm... so it's not ok for Crazy Rabbit Lady to make a polite comment about 'them' but it's fine for anyone to slag off mods, when very few people have met them or had a conversation with them actually (that isn't based on points). Because what,. mods aren't people? Mods don't have feelings? Mods are what?
Firstly, I don't consider her comment to be 'polite'.
Secondly, i'm not condoning anything they've done.
This 'nazi mods' thing and 'cool points' business isn't a personal attack at anyone. It's a joke which some people have obviously taken offense to, which I find ridiculous.
Rach, it's all well and good saying use a different website, but just because someone doesn't agree with the way something is run doesn't mean they don't deserve support and can use the site for help.
That really made my blood boil as I highly doubt you've met them, had conversations with them. You're judging someone over a website, do you realise how ridiculous that is?
What everyone else has said. It's so easy to disrespect the moderators and their decisions - and nobody has met them, either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fallen Rain
Erm... so it's not ok for Crazy Rabbit Lady to make a polite comment about 'them' but it's fine for anyone to slag off mods, when very few people have met them or had a conversation with them actually (that isn't based on points). Because what,. mods aren't people? Mods don't have feelings? Mods are what?
Rach, it's all well and good saying use a different website, but just because someone doesn't agree with the way something is run doesn't mean they don't deserve support and can use the site for help.
No, not at all, I agree.
However, if you do want to use a site for support, distractions, etc, then you have to abide by the rules of it. Banning people from a site due to rule breaking, when they need to use the site for support, is a shame. At the end of the day, if you want to use RYL then you have to respect the rules, put up with them and make civil comments to people about them if you think there could be doing with some change.
This 'nazi mods' thing and 'cool points' business isn't a personal attack at anyone. It's a joke which some people have obviously taken offense to, which I find ridiculous.
I like you, Nat. Not meant to be a personal attack. But try putting up with the abuse moderator's get continuously, and you'll understand why then being called a "Nazi" is hurtful; when all you are trying to do is help.
It isn't ridiculous to me.
And that's the point I am trying to make. Moderator's have feelings too and we get a lot of things said to us that is more than you see on the forum, all I'm asking for is a little respect.
I'm sorry I've had to cause a stir about it, I really am.
Societies of any form need some kind of control to help everyone be ok. Some people become unhappy usually because they feel they can do anything they wish. These people work hard to keep this site running voluntarily. Sometimes you may not agree with their decisions but if this is the case name calling is not the way to go about it. A clear reasoned argument has far more potency.
Furthermore people need to realize it is not a personal attack from the mods they make an informed decision based upon the rules it's not like they are going oh your bad because i don't like you. I do think the moderators are working fairly and if mistakes are made I would think that they would listen to concerns. I have been on many forums and I believe this is a well moderated site.
People also have to remember this is a support forum and as such the idea is to help rather than hinder peoples recovery and overall health. As a result a utilitarianism approach must be taken into account. One post being deleted may annoy one person but could reduce the annoyance/hurt/suffering of so many others.
Maybe there could be a certain person that people can appeal to when they disagree with a moderators decision. Although who would take on that role I don't know as it is challenging.
But I being poor have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet ; tread softly as you tread on my dreams.
We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.
