ok i can understand that as im often like that. But maybe if you are in such a way (obviously only if you can tell you are) maybe just think of getting support rather than providing it for others? When you're not welll it isnt good to be draining yourself as such, you need to keep your energy for helping you fight it.
Yeah, I think you're right. It would be better to create threads rather than answer them when like that.
Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want?
While "go do it then" would hardly be an appropriate reply... I can understand the frustration to an extent.
Someone mentioned on this thread that a suicidal post might well be the person's only way of asking for support. Fair enough, but that doesn't mean everyone has to cater to it - it's a fine line. It's too easy to reaffirm to that person that obviously suicide threats work, they get support after all. What about the impact on others? Say you reply to such a thread, and then that person doesn't show again. Feels great. Is that fair? Hardly.
Whenever possible though, I'm all for just ignoring such a thread if it annoys you. And obviously posts that are out of line should be post-reported.. the mods are good at judging what's over the line.
(Legal disclaimer: Yes, there's a difference between a thread saying "I feel suicidal and need help" and "I'm going to kill myself" - the above is more about the latter.)
Reserved for a TL;DR post where I hit Claire's and Erin's points; use the term bubble wrap; and mention the fact that the point of RYL is not to make people feel good through warm an fuzzy replies but to challenge you to recovery.
This thread is popping up more and more often. Half the time when I do see members getting arsey - its because the person who originally posted has asked the same question over and over and over, without listening to any replies. I remember this happening a while back, a member had made 4 or 5 threads about the same thing, ignoring all advice, and just generally taking up room about a problem that had been replied to over and over. Eventually people lost their temper, and I dont blame them, as I would have too. While maybe not the best way to go about it - I can understand it, while the people here are vulnerable when they post, vulnerable people are also replying, and it is SO frustrating when you give advice for it to be ignored.
However, when a member has asked for a problem once, and someone wanders in and just says something sarcastic, or disregards someones problem, thats also infuriating.
I have no ideas to give. I was just putting my thoughts in
We’ve got obsessions
I want to erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week
We’ve got obsessions
You never tell me what it is that makes you strong and what it is that makes you weak.
Often, what appears to be 'the same thing' is actually many steps on one long connected process. Most of us have core issues that are ongoing and can't be 'quick fixed' in one go. Also, we don't take everything in at once, especially when things are tumultuous inside. Maybe people could remember this before they prejudge someone for apparently posting about the same thing over and over.
Perhaps if people post the same thing over and over stop reading their posts.xxx
I wish it was that easy. There are certain names I recognise and it is exactly the same thing over and over again and I don't think it is fair as it pushes other threads off. A few people have at least 5 threads on the same topic on different forums and everytime I see them post again I get irritated and want to say something. If people are unable to take in what is being said they should have one support thread, which they can update.
Often, what appears to be 'the same thing' is actually many steps on one long connected process. Most of us have core issues that are ongoing and can't be 'quick fixed' in one go. Also, we don't take everything in at once, especially when things are tumultuous inside. Maybe people could remember this before they prejudge someone for apparently posting about the same thing over and over.
+1
Sometimes, people need lots of reassurance when they are distressed and desperate, also some need to 'voice' how they are feeling lots, I think multiple threads can often be down to this. It might be slightly irritating to other members but surely not a big deal.
If coping was as easy as reading someone's advice and changing behavior, we would all be well. I dont mean to sound harsh but I feel its a bit unfair to hear complaints about people 'not taking advice'. Taking, 'hearing' and internalising advice can be VERY VERY hard. I wouldnt take offensive if i tried to support someone and then they asked the same question in a new thread, to me it just shows how bad they are struggling.
Having the same feelings or issues and having the same situations are different. If the situation is the one I'm thinking of anyway. There is only so many times people can say "do x" before they get annoyed. And, if someone has several threads on a page not only are they pushing other threads off the bottom, they are also making it harder for people to support and understand what is going on.
I admit i was blunt in a reply to a thread a while back. I was the only one to reply and it wasnt taken too well and the thread was deleted.
I didnt say go and do it. I tried to approach it in a different way, trying to encourage by being blunt. Someone said the same advice to me that i did to this member and although i didnt take it well at the time, i learnt from it. Whether the member has gotten anything from it, i dont know. But when i got a pm from them saying they were hurt by my post, i apologised but stuck to what i'd said.
I think sometimes people do need blunt, honest replies. Otherwise we'll get a million threads saying the same things with the same replies. And we'll be going around in circles.
Obviously i dont condone people encouraging suicide or anything else thats self destructive but asking why they havent done whatever they said they are going to do, i think its a fair question.
They are trying to encoueage people to explore their thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Anyway, ive rambled on and it may not make sense but at least ive said my bit :)
Through the dark, a strand of light, the light continued to get bright, with it came the strength to fight (Gem)
I would advise simply asking them to not post further if they are making posts that are hurtful to you. I just got the same thing happen. Second time, too.
