And technically, the law is unlikely to bother with anything smaller than a three year age gap in a statutory rape case (depending on the actual age and obvious maturity of the younger counterpart in question).
I was going to say that the law has a kind of fudgy line for a 2 year gap but once the person is over the age of 18 then he is an adult and if he had sex with a minor it would be considered to be statutory rape. Is he aware of these facts?
I know that the age difference is not a big one and as people get older the age gap lessens i.e. when at school you tend to be very much friends with your year gap this lessens in uni and by the time you start working it doesn't really exist. If he 'cared' for the girls then he should wait for them to be ready and be aware of the law and so on - he should also use protection to minimise the chance of the girl getting pregnant.
Anyhow my Grandma had two husbands with a 20 year age gap between them. Her first husband was 10 years older and her second husband was ten years younger. So an age gap per say isn't a problem but between a minor and an adult there is something not right.
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ~Woody Allen
Is a chocolate muffin loving glitter ball
To be fair all my boyfriends have been over 18.
My first was 18 when I was 15/16
Second was 19-21 when I was 16-18.
Third was 20 when I was 18.
The thing is I have always looked older than I am and acted older, I was drinking in the pubs at the age of 15, my friends have never been my age. I guess it is down to personal circumstance, yet within the boundaries of the law.
It hink it depends on the circumstances
For example to of my friends Grace and Tyler are going out, hes 18 shes 13.
Now shes had sex alot before but hteyre trying to keep this straight edge and legal.
Im mixed.
And on the virginity thing?
It boils down towaht the one and only guy ive ever slept with said.
Its all abotu what happens when you lose it. If its nice youw ant to do it again, and you jsut want to keep doing it. If its bad, or painful or traumatic, well you can as much as hate sex and certainatly wonder what all the fuss is about.
mm i think that kind of thing is wrong,
but if the person is in a proper relationship and has been for a while, and hasn't been pressured into it by the older partner then I see nothing wrong with it.
If only you'd ever speak to me
the way you once did
look at me the way you once did
pull to me the way you once did
but you don't
you don't feel anymore
you don't care anymore
it's all gone
it's all gone
After they broke up (reasons unknown for this) she lied saying she was pregnant with his baby because she was trying to get back with him but he never got back with her.
She began to stalk him on msn and by his phone and also getting her friends onto him about getting back together. He resulted in lying to her by saying he'd lost his memory and didn't know who she was. She stupidly believed it and now doesn't hardly speak to him on msn or by phone.
This is exactly why 16 is the limit - sex carries with it huge emotions and responsibilities which children are not responsible or mature enough to handle. Underage sex is eeeww eeew eeeeeeeeeeeww!
^ Generalisation much?
I am quite sure that I am perfectly capable of handling both the emotions and responsibilities.
I would NEVER lie about pregnancy.
And I already have exact plans for what I would do if I became pregnant. (Though not through lack of protection)
I do think most under 16's are too emotionally immature for sex. Now before people shout me dow I said most, not all. However the government has to have a cut off point somewhere.
With respect to age differences some things just sound plain wrong, like a 14 year old with a 20 year old or something. There's just an enormous difference of life experience between those ages, and I really can't see why a 20 year old would wat to go out with a 14 year old, unless he had paedophilic tendencies.
That said,even some over 16 relationships with major age differences seem slightly wrong to me. I have a friend (he's gay), he's 16 but he goes out with like 45 year old guys, some of them are older than his dad. I think 2 people should be equals in a relationship and if ones a responsible adult and the others technically still a child, how do you get an equal balace of power?
To me, it's not about their physical age, it's the mental one that counts.
I mean, some 16 year old girls i know act like their 5 and just wouldn't be able to cope wth it.
If their gonna go it, they will, but at least be safe about it!
Personally I think if two people are in a loving relationship, then age shouldn't matter... and if it's serious and there are feelings then great. But quite often it's unlikely to last because when 2 people are at such different stages in their lives, they need people to support them through it. On the other hand, because girls are normally more mature than men, an age gap can be perfectly reasonable when younger. So long as they both have mutual respect and don't feel pressured etc etc...
Though an 18 year old guy who repeatedly goes after 15 year olds online does seem a little worrying... you wonder why he can't get a girl his own age, or if he just has a thing for the younger ones?
The thing is I have always looked older than I am and acted older, I was drinking in the pubs at the age of 15, my friends have never been my age. I guess it is down to personal circumstance, yet within the boundaries of the law.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
I can see both sides of the argument (though I'm sure his intentions are far from as deep as I'm going to put across)
Underage people....having sex
Now...most of you will lie if you say you had no under-age sexual contact at some time or another....I lost my virginity at 16 but was sexually active from 15...and I'm pretty sure the story will be the same right across the board
What always interests me about these arguments though...is people are so hypocritical.....they say that its because They learned the hard way and don't want someone to go through the same thing that they did....
I know from experience (used to be a Very jealous posessive friend) that 9 times out of 10....you just feel uncomfortable with it because it feels "wrong"
And why does it feel wrong?
We are told its wrong....
But...who gets to decide whats right and wrong?....because (no offence to Christian/religious fans) it sure as hell wasn't any kind of god telling us by divine intervention it is wrong...
So some person somewhere along the road....decided that under 16 was under age.....throughout history there have been "coming of age" ceremonys...where boys and girls as young as 9 - 12 have sex to become an "adult"
So we have somewhere along the way...thrown out all of our Natural instincts in order to conform to some idealists way of thinking
Not that I'm condining it by the way....I just think its interesting that people don't understand Why they think like they do
Face it....you think it....because society tells you to
9-12? It may have something to do with the way having sex affected those children mentally in the long term. A lot of research has been done, it isn't a random number thrown out there for the heck o fit. A lot is taken into consideration. Take a 13 year old, and a 16 year old, the mentality difference is huge.
Childrenh aren't mentally equipped to deal with sex and all it entails.
Though an 18 year old guy who repeatedly goes after 15 year olds online does seem a little worrying... you wonder why he can't get a girl his own age, or if he just has a thing for the younger ones?
I was thinking this too. If its someone he really likes and he wants to make a go of it ok but to be repeatedly going after underage girls just doesn't seem right.
Personally i don't think age is that important. At 16 i was with someone who was 21 and i didn't feel like there was much difference. I do think one person being underage complicates things though.
9-12? It may have something to do with the way having sex affected those children mentally in the long term. A lot of research has been done, it isn't a random number thrown out there for the heck o fit. A lot is taken into consideration. Take a 13 year old, and a 16 year old, the mentality difference is huge.
Childrenh aren't mentally equipped to deal with sex and all it entails.
You seem to have a heck of a lot of faith in legislators... Whatever research there is now about sexuality in adolescence, most of the laws were written before that anyway. For one thing, if there were an obvious "right" age of consent, why does the legal age vary so much? There are places where the age of consent as low as 12, and others where it's as high as 21. Also, many places have a higher age of consent for homosexual relations than heterosexual ones (even though children often experiment with other children of their same gender rather than the opposite one). There are also often exceptions that have an exception to allow children, or at least girls, to be married before the age of consent and have sex with their spouse. There are places where it's still illegal to have sex outside of marriage, or to cheat on your spouse if you are married. The laws don't come from the research - they come from an essentially arbitrary, or at least unscientific sense of the morality of sex.
Now that's not to say that there shouldn't be a legal age of consent, only that the current laws in most places really aren't particularly based on empirical research. Having sex in childhood can obviously do quite a lot of damage, but I think it's more a matter of the emotional and psychological circumstances under which the contact took place than exactly how old the kid was. For one thing, people mature at different rates, but more than that, what's most damaging about underage sex is generally going to be things like being pressured or manipulated into it, not having wanted to do it at all, or it being the result of some pathological process. It's normal for kids to experiment to some extent, and if it's totally consensual for both kids, it's not particularly damaging... it's more when kids are tricked or forced into having relations with someone much older than them that it tends to do a lot of damage.
Of course, sometimes a teen who seeks out a relationship with an older person. A lot of people would say that they're looking for a parent figure or whatever, and often times that can be true, and that kind of relationship can definitely be damaging (it's one of the major things that pimps use to control child prostitutes), and it can also just lead to an unhealthy kind of relationship, especially if the older person is looking for someone to depend on them, in that it kind of impairs the younger person's ability to grow up and gain independence and stuff. But I think it's also possible even with that kind of relationship for both people to be happy with it, and as long as they're happy and are able to function well enough and everything, I don't see anything wrong with it.
Emily
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It's normal for kids to experiment to some extent, and if it's totally consensual for both kids, it's not particularly damaging... it's more when kids are tricked or forced into having relations with someone much older than them that it tends to do a lot of damage.
I'm gunna disagree.
I was a very mature 12 year old...and I experimented with one of my best friends.
And I can't talk about it without crying or feeling sick to my stomach.
It can in some senses be very damaging.
