good that you're going home! I'm sorry they said that, that's just plain mean. you're trying and that's the important part. I'm sure that you aren't beyond help. I'm sure someone out there can and will help more than the people there did. sending support in any way I can
" I am lost without you here and outside it looks like rain."
I too have heard those words and felt disheartened but it doesn't mean they're true. I see how hard you have been trying while you've been in hospital and I'd really hope that something could be put in place to allow you to continue to do that at home. You are not the same person you were in those notes from years back. I really hope the ED team will offer you something helpful and that you can find it in yourself to be motivated and have some belief in yourself. I believe in you.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
The psychologist sent me a self monitoring record thing to record food and drink and the thoughts and feelings around it.
Should get it printed out really
But i hate people seeing what I've eaten
I have to show that I'm trying though
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
That does sound hard. I think I would also find it hard even just to write it down. I hope it's not too difficult and it is useful and leads to you getting help that is specialised for you.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
yea food and feeling logs are a pretty standard thing in ED treatment. surprised the dietician human didn't ask you to do one. they're really important for them to be able to know what's going on and how things are going. would also say it's important to write how much you exercise in it as well.
personally find them super triggering and stressful to have to show as well. but it does get easier with time.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Beckie, when people from the mental health system say someone is 'beyond help' it's usually not in a broad sense. But the systems that are public are measured by how fast they can make progress with clients. And some people just need more than the standard time frame because they have to take smaller steps to ensure that they feel safe in their progress towards feeling better. But that is sadly beyond what the public systems offer.
You're not beyond help. But the type of help in the set pattern that they have offered you might not be what you will benefit from right now. And that's not your fault, or a sign that you are not trying hard enough. It means this is a bit more difficult for you to do on their terms and you need someone who is willing to let you take it slower and take smaller steps at a time. Forcing progress too much, too fast is not good either. I think you, and people around you, would prefer for this to work properly so you won't have to do it over and over again.
I think you should ask the ed team what they will recommend treatment wise if they mention the possibility of discharge again. It's not you, honestly!!! It's a strained treatment system that can't afford to help those that don't fit the standard package treatment.
<3
Beckie, when people from the mental health system say someone is 'beyond help' it's usually not in a broad sense. But the systems that are public are measured by how fast they can make progress with clients. And some people just need more than the standard time frame because they have to take smaller steps to ensure that they feel safe in their progress towards feeling better. But that is sadly beyond what the public systems offer.
You're not beyond help. But the type of help in the set pattern that they have offered you might not be what you will benefit from right now. And that's not your fault, or a sign that you are not trying hard enough. It means this is a bit more difficult for you to do on their terms and you need someone who is willing to let you take it slower and take smaller steps at a time. Forcing progress too much, too fast is not good either. I think you, and people around you, would prefer for this to work properly so you won't have to do it over and over again.
I think you should ask the ed team what they will recommend treatment wise if they mention the possibility of discharge again. It's not you, honestly!!! It's a strained treatment system that can't afford to help those that don't fit the standard package treatment.
<3
fucksake why the hell did they put you in hospital to do hardly anything and they chuck you out saying you're beyond help? Like, they've not exactly tried to help yet have they?
I have nothing useful to say so should probably not just use this as my personal venting space about your care but guess I did it anyway.
vaguely wondering if they've said that because what you need is to be in an EDU and need inpatient support for EDs specifically, and they don't seem to be capable of making that occur. so instead of making it their failing, they're turning it around into your failing? which tends to be a common treatment thing where they don't like to acknowledge that the treatment is fucked up so instead they decide the human is fucked up. which isn't fair or true.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Thanks everyone
Sorry i haven't really been responding
I'm finding it hard to take in and respond to posts, if that makes any sense?
They've been saying for a while that they don't know how to help and they need to 'think outside the box' because I've never really responded to any standard treatments for basically anything. So i think it probably is a me problem. I probably actually am beyond help.
Is it even worth trying anymore?
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Sorry you're finding things hard. It's definitely worth keeping trying, what is the alternative? I don't even want to think about where you'd find yourself if you gave up completely. I know it's so difficult but there will be things that haven't been tried yet. I'm sure other people don't respond well to the routine textbook routes that professionals follow. You are definitely not the problem.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I'd die. That's what would happen if i gave up.
I don't want that.
They don't know what else to try.
They keep saying they need to think of something. And asking me what would help.
If i knew, i would tell them.
I haven't gone back to running yet, but every time i see someone out running, or running in afilm, i feel the need to do it.
I imagine it's similar to how an alcoholic would feel seeing people drinking.
I've just been waking up too late to go.
I feel lazy. Especially as I'm not at work atm too.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
we always used to get told this if things did not work by our old treatment humans, hence the clinical speak of it:
"the patient never fails at treatment, the treatment fails the patient"
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
would it be worth chasing up for more info and or asking again? because the exercise IS part of the ed. so at a bit of a loss why they say you're beyond help when they're not offering the EDU which would likely help.
it's okay if not just... that's the obvious option as far as we can tell.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
After the EDU refused me, it's just never been brought up again.
I only found out by accident. The nurse just said 'so you know the EDU refused you' in passing, as if i already knew. Never been mentioned since that.
I think they probably do think it would help, but ultimately up to the EDU team, not the community ED team. If it was up to the ED dr, i probably would be in one right now.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
