Triggering (SI) - falling and no one is here to stop me

still cry · 20-01-2009, 12:31 AM

I failed again . . . i was sh free for 3 months thats the longest time in the last 2 years . . . and i f*cked up again and now everything is getting worse.
All i can think about is hurting myself . . . i need to hurt my self . . . its takin over my head and im scared that i cant get back in control. It hates me and i mean really hates me.

Cazki · 20-01-2009, 12:48 AM

*Gently cuddles you* Your not a failure at all and 3 months free is an excellent achievement!! Im sorry you slipped up, but that doesnt make you a failure. Everyone has slip ups its all part of recovery, please dont be so hard on yourself. You did incredibly well to go so long without harming yourself. You said that it was the longest time you have gone without harming yourself for two years. Thats really good and shows how hard you have been trying to stop harming yourself. Dont give up, you will get through this.

Dont let this slip up stop you from recovering. Do you have any support? Is there anyone you can talk to about things? Is anyone else aware of your self harm? Do you know what it was that caused you to slip up? Can you talk to us about things some more? This is the big distractions page http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...splay.php?f=22 and here is the fun and distractions forum http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...lay.php?f=1403 Please take it easy, stay safe.

Take care all the best Ian

still cry · 20-01-2009, 01:07 AM

One of my close friends knows about my sh but he's the only person. I used to be able to tell him everything but now he's so busy with loads of other stuff that me and my problems are just in the way.
I dont really know what caused the slip up i guess going home didnt help . . . i dont live at home anymore im at uni! Its really hard being here alone and not knowing who to talk to.
I just wish it would leave me alone

Cazki · 20-01-2009, 01:25 AM

*Hugs* Could you perhaps think about making an appointment to see your doctor to talk about things? Have you ever had proffessional support? If not i think it would be worth mentioning it if you were to make an appointment with your doctor.

Take care all the best Ian

still cry · 20-01-2009, 09:34 AM

I went to a doctor at home but he didnt do anything told me to make another appointment but i couldn't do it. But ppart from that iv never had any help with any of this. I have been thinking about goin to the uni doctor but i dont know. i dont know how much more i can take on my own.