Triggering (Sexual Abuse) - oh no....

lozstar88 · 27-09-2008, 09:30 AM

my drunken father is home and is "friend" with the wandering hands...

not again...

maybe they won't find me...*runs and hides...not very well*

lozstar88 · 27-09-2008, 10:33 AM

I'm scared...can I maybe have a hug?

My dad will pass out soon and then his friend will come and find me...

*Fading_existence* · 27-09-2008, 10:40 AM

*cuddles gently* is there any way you can get out the house without anyone seeing you?

Revival · 27-09-2008, 11:15 AM

like ^^ said, is there any way you can get out of there? Do you have a friend's house or somewhere that you can stay tonight? *safe cuddles*

lozstar88 · 27-09-2008, 12:36 PM

:(

...I'm disgusting...dirty....

I hate his eyes...I can still feel them looking at me...looking through me...destroying me

ladybug · 27-09-2008, 06:33 PM

hey hun
are you ok
did anything happen?
*hugs*

Revival · 27-09-2008, 10:56 PM

what happened sweetheart? Are you ok?

saved the strawberries · 28-09-2008, 12:16 AM

i hope you're alright...

Sweetest Downfall · 28-09-2008, 12:36 AM

i really hope you're ok honey and at least safe from him. lots of hugs xx

EyelinerAndCigarettes · 28-09-2008, 12:49 AM

oh gosh, my love, I'm so sorry I only just saw this.
How are you feeling now?
Can you tell us what happened?
I hope your safe,
I love you a hell of a lot
x x x

troubleshooter · 28-09-2008, 04:36 AM

*hugs* Hope you're okay. Anytime that guy comes around you should make a safety plan to run off to a friend's house or even a safe hang out like a park or cafe.

lozstar88 · 28-09-2008, 08:59 AM

I'm sorry everyone...I can't do anything right!
I fall for his lies everytime...you would think that I would have learnt my lesson by now...but NO I just keep letting people hurt me over and over again..it's all I deserve!
my door was locked..I was safe so why did I come out?
why did I fall straight into his trap?

I know why...because I am a dirty lil whore...a stupid lil whore! IDIOT!
I deserve everything I got because I was stupid enough to believe him, to trust him...to think that I thought I needed to rescue my dad (he said he was hurt)...only to find that I was the only one that needed to be rescued...while my dad lay there in a stupid self-induced druken coma...

"daddy please!! for once in your life help me! for once in your life could you please give a damn about me and save me...for once in your life could you be there for me"...I'm asking too much...I run to his aid everytime, yet he has never been there for me!

I'm still that stupid pathetic lil girl doing everything to please him and to try and get him to love me...no matter what the cost...it didn't work the 1st time, so why would it work now

I quit! I'm a waste of his space anyway...a waste of "his" money..no loss to him

*Fading_existence* · 28-09-2008, 10:45 AM

Oh sweetie im so sorry.
You are not any of those things you say. You are an amazing wonderful daughter.
You are not a w**** at all the man who hurts you is totally wrong and it needs to stop. It isnt right sweetheart. You dont deserve it, no one does.
Is there anyone you could talk to about this?

EyelinerAndCigarettes · 28-09-2008, 11:47 AM

Baby, you are amazing, what daughter would do that? fight their fears to help their dad? You are a wonderful daughter, you haven't done anything wrong, you've only tried to help. Maybe when he's sober you could try talking to him about it? or at least talk to your councillor when you see her along with the letter.
I love you girly
x

lozstar88 · 28-09-2008, 12:06 PM

he won't believe me...I can't tell him because he will hate me even more for trying to take away his only friend...his other friend died earlier this year and it will kill my dad to loose another...well his only friend left.

'he' knows this...'he' knows that if I tell it will kill my dad and he knows that i would NEVER do that...thats why he always comes back...he has me under his thumb...

my dad came home today and asked me where I was last night...hahahahaha he was too drunk to even realise I was home with him...to forget our conversations before he passed out...he forgot about me...like he always does...WELL I WAS HOME DAD...SATISFYING YOUR FRIENDS NEEDS...ARE YOU PROUD OF YOUR WHORE OF A DAUGHTER?...actually funny thing is he would actually prefer it if I was sleeping around...

"Lauren why don't you bring any guys home like your sister? Whats wrong with you?

EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH ME!!

Sorry Helen baby, sorry everyone for wasting your time!

I appreciate you ALL staying with me during this, I appreciate the safe hugs *hugs back*...

pixie*lyssie · 28-09-2008, 01:08 PM

Oh honey I'm so sorry this has happened again. *safe gentle hugs* You dont deserve bad things you deserve good things only! And your dad's friend has taken advantage, does anyone appart from us on RYL know about what he's done to you? You are deffo not a whore you are a lovely girl! Never forget that ok! Please stay safe as much as you can. Lyssie xx

lozstar88 · 29-09-2008, 09:37 AM

no one else knows...I can't tell...it's not safe!
it would kill my dad, I have already hurt him enough

It feels like the only reason I have been put on this earth is just for others to have "fun" with...just a stupid lil rag doll for other people to play with...with a painted on smile but completely empty inside...yep that just about sums me up...nothing more

EyelinerAndCigarettes · 29-09-2008, 06:17 PM

No baby, you are MUCH more than that. You are beautiful, intelagent, brave, caring, a wonderful friend.
I think it would hurt him more if he found out this was going on in his house, with his friend & he didn't know, he couldn't protect his little girl.
Please re-think telling him? You shouldn't ever have to go through this alone. Can you tell your counicllor?
I love you
x x x

*Fading_existence* · 30-09-2008, 12:47 PM

hun *hidden pain*(helen?) is right. You were put on this earth cause your an amazing wonderful person. You pm'd me with support when your stuggling too, thats amazing and so kind. You shouldnt have to go through this at all, and im sure if your dad knew he would want to help you. Even if this "man" is his friend because he shouldnt be hurting you and your dad would want to protect you.
xxxxxxx

EyelinerAndCigarettes · 30-09-2008, 05:01 PM

Yes its Helen

How did your appt go angel?

x x x