Terrified - reality no longer exists.

Steel Maiden · 24-03-2008, 11:14 PM

When I walked from my study room to my bedroom, I nearly had a heart attack when I could hear footsteps and whispering (nobody else was in the house at the time), and a shadow dashed across the corridor. I am scared of the people hidden in my room and the people in my head. I found myself talking to them today. I have music on right now, trying to drown out the noises and whispering I keep hearing, but its not working. I'm on olanzapine 10mg, but its not working. I don't understand why all these medications I'm trying aren't working any more. There are people behind me with guns, ready to shoot me. The people in my head are watching every move that I make, every word that I type. I am scared. My music sounds distorted, like someone's messed about with my speakers. OH MY GOD. I am terrified.

Reality no longer exists. I'm back in Imaginary World again. I'm back on the acid-trip-without-taking-acid again.

Steel Maiden · 24-03-2008, 11:17 PM

I can't take my medication. They won't let me. They're threatening me with their guns.

Pomegranate · 25-03-2008, 12:07 AM

*hugs you*- It is just a threat- they will NOT actually shoot you. I promise. Take your meds, and maybe they will help x

bitzy · 25-03-2008, 12:16 AM

hey
u really need to take ur meds, i stopped taking mine a few days ago too cos i thought i could beat this by myself but the voices i was hearing got louder nd started tellin me to hurt ppl besides my self nd there was a man outside my window all day and nyte tellin me to do weird things
Take ur meds......please*hugs*
Kate xxxx

Stellata · 25-03-2008, 08:35 AM

How're you doing this morning?

Steel Maiden · 28-03-2008, 09:59 PM

Sorry.
I'm still not taking my meds now because the packet has been poisoned. I can't take any of them. I feel sick and I know that's because I've ingested poison.
I can't sleep and I'm scared of the people, but that's nothing to do with the meds because my meds are all dud fake pills filled with organophosphates. I can't take them. I don't want permanent nerve damage or whatever organophosphates do to you.

dark_light · 29-03-2008, 09:10 PM

Please try and see your doctor, these experiences are a part of being ill and although it may take time they will find a combination of medication that works for you.
If you feel that your medication has been tampered with could you take it to hospital and discuss it with one of the doctors there?
When you suddenly stop meds it can make things worse very quickly, i know its frightening but there are people who can help you with this.
How are you feeling today?
Jo xx

Steel Maiden · 29-03-2008, 09:20 PM

I left home at 7pm came back at 8pm it was really dark and I was scared. There were too many people around, circling me, shouting at me don't take your meds they're poisoned that's all they said just over and over again. That's all they ever say. I want to go on the Northern Line. I could go all the way to the other side of London with that line. I have to get to Morden station first.