Contains sexual abuse - Can't deal with recent news coverage :(

[ajrocks]

yeah thats about the gist of it.
It was bad enough the jimmy saville case but now Rolf Harris I just can't get my head round it I genuinely thought he was probably innocent and then it came up on my newsfeed yesterday that hes been charged.
I went to see him last year in his show! I feel sick and upset and i'm fighting the bad thoughts from past and I can't get the news coverage on him out of my head.
Think I just need some hugs :(
Also yesterday where I work a child came up behind me when i was occupied with another child and hit my backside and ran off laughing this just didn't improve my freaked out state at all.
Anyway he got a huge telling off from me (as he'd done it as some kind'e dare from a friend grrrr!) the whole playground froze (i may have beem raising my voice a little more then i would norm have) then i marched indoors after i had made him apologise but i then found it extremely hard to describe what he had done wrong to his teacher so i actually haven't yet but i know i should but i don't know how to say it gawd i'm such a freak.
I feel really stressed.

[Snow White.]

I've found the news difficult to hear as well and not because I thought he was innocent it just brings up a lot of things, so I can relate. It would have been hard if you had recently seen him also, so I understand why you are really stressed at the moment and with what happened with the kid too when you were already vulnerable.

I know it's hard but try and do your best to ignore the media coverage and do things comforting or self soothing where possible.

[ajrocks]

thankyou snow white glad i'm not only one.yes it brings up too many things for me too.
I shall try and distract myself.
Also I had my first appointment with MIND yesterday so it pretty much was a really bad day from start to finish!

[Albus Dumbledore]

Hi,
I'm also struggling with all the new coverage about this. I'm trying to just stay away from any news at the moment - papers, radio tv etc and trying to distract myself from thinking about it.

[Snow White.]

Did it not go well with the people at Mind?

Remember we are here for you, sounds like a big day so go gentle on yourself x

[--------------------]

Sorry its affecting you so much. My lecturer and some students were talking about it yesterday. Decided to walk away and keep myself busy. Similarly I haven't been watching or reading the news.
Could you perhaps do something nice for yourself and try to relax?

[ajrocks]

Thankyou
I just wasn't expecting it to come up on my facebook newsfeed randomly! I don't even think any of my friends had shared that or commented or anything for it to come up either :-/
i wouldn't have known a thing about it as I don't watch the news or buy papers much or anything just can't seem to avoid it sometimes and yes Radio like you say sometimes people will just talk about these things-generally I tend to wander away.
The appointment went ok it was just a lot of questions at this stage and her writing stuff down so they can decide on the best course of treatment.
I just want help for my main trigger so it doesn't send me into a bipolar depression like it did for 7 months like last time.and the triggers are similar to the above so maybe its a good thing i'm starting this now its just draining.thankyou for all your replies v helpful

[ajrocks]

also i've got to read the child protection folder today at work meh! i've dragged it out but it needed to be done and signed off by last week! :/ so i can't leave it very longer.i'm allowed not to do the course but I need to read the folder :/

[not_so_insig]

I know how you felt. The Jimmy Saville coverage upset me and it upset my best friend too (who was SA). Like you it came up in my Facebook news feed too.

How are you doing now?

[Wonderland.]

I've been keeping away from TV because of it all. It just triggers me so much.

So you certainly aren't alone in feeling the way you do.

How are you doing now?

I hope you managed to read the CP folder.

[Epicene]

I just wanted to add that I sympathise. Like Aimee I'm avoiding TV, radio etc because it's all too triggering. Whilst it's obviously a positive outcome for the victims, there are probably thousands who struggle in silence or don't get justice and that is so hard to deal with. You're not alone.

[ajrocks]

Thankyou
yeah I'm not doing so good really but I didn't want to bump this thread other day so as not to take support off other people as i'm sure their are people in worse emotional turmoil at the moment than me I mean i'm still functioning and everything its just hard and then I saw other news on it yesterday more recent allegations that have come to light and I just want to scream at the media and people that share these things to shut the f**k up.It hits me so hard.
Yes I read the CP folder at school and it was really difficult literally I walked into school and the office lady begged me to read it that day (as she gets into trouble if she doesn't chase staff up about things.)
So I spoke to my class teacher I work with I only had to say I have to read the folder today and she understood as we'd already been over why I would find it too difficult to do the child protection courses.She was lovely supportive and said I could take it wherever I need to to read it so I took it outside the class and did get a bit teary its just all a bit much at mo you know.Anyway another member of staff saw that I wasn't myself when I'd read it so she bought a bar of chocolate into school the next day and left it in my tray for me with a note saying for you when you're having a blip chocolate is compulsory lol! so that made me feel a bit brighter that they were so kind about it bless them People are so kind there I am v lucky to work in a school tbh cause their aren't a lot of work environments that i've found people to be as good with people who have gone through difficult things.I am feeling like I'm drowning in my emotions and everytime I see a report on news it makes me drown that little bit more I need to get a grip and I don't know how.I've started therapy and thats all i can do i think.I am considering coming off facebook but then I have to be in there for dance rehearsal purposes (we have our own secret group where the videos go up) so if i come off I can't see recent posts sigh
Anyway I thank you for all your support I am very grateful and I'm glad their are people that get what I mean thanks guys x

[Epicene]

You are worthy of support just like everybody else! It is great that you feel able to function normally, but it takes effort at times to keep going (especially when faced with triggers).

I think you should also remember that whilst you are doing all you can and using therapy positively, therapy can in itself create triggers and challenges. Don't be afraid to take it slow whilst you're going through such a vulnerable time. Perhaps limit your Facebook use to just the dance group and make sure your homepage isn't a site with news headlines.

[ajrocks]

Thankyou ^ yes therapy is triggering me too I do get headlines randomly come up in my feed-do you know if their is any button to stop that epicene?
Thankyou for your support :)

[Epicene]

I'm not on Facebook myself, if that's what you mean. But from what I remember when I was on it, you can click on virtually any post and adjust the settings.

For other sites (Yahoo, MSN etc) you could save the mail login page into your favourites so that you don't go via main sites with headlines. And personally I just set my homepage to google search so literally the only thing I see online are things I've searched for.

[ajrocks]

Thankyou yes my homepage is google so no worries there I shall have a play around with my facebook :) unfortunately yesterday this 12 year old (who obvs shouldn't be on there) put up a photo saying if you would help someone who is suicidal or self harms please share-The photo is absolutely horrific and graphic and I was like wtf! So anyways I managed to hide the photo after commenting that this photo is not suitable and should not be up as some people do not need to see it! I will delete her if she puts anything else up like that but as I say it is a bit of a problem right now with dance because I need her in my list so I can contact her for what we are doing,however the show is over in 2 weeks so after that I will be removing her.Sorry I digressed from subject! It just didn't help my mood. I'm still not great but i'm managing to hang in there and one of my colleagues (who got me the chocolate) is being super supportive right now so at least theirs that

[ajrocks]

I was tearful today.
I am just so sad and I want to hibernate but I can't.
I can't ignore how messed up my head feels from it all right now.I feel so alone with my feelings.yet more stuff in news yet more people who want to talk about him but forget that the people they are talking to may have actually been effected by something like that and don't want to hear it.I'm finding it very hard to fathom out how I actually feel about it its just a mass of mixed emotions I dunno i'm sorry I just still feel really bad.

[Snow White.]

*sits with you* I'm sorry I can't say much more right now I'm about to fall asleep but I read your post and I understand. I'm sorry to hear it's still bring brought up. Be gentle and comforting with yourself as best you can. Take it easy.

[ajrocks]

Thankyou I appreciate that x

[ajrocks]

arrgh i had a bad dream last night that me and my friend went to see rolf harris in prison (wtf!) because in my dream he'd hurt me too and i felt i needed to ask him why and he told me i deserved it amongst other things and made me cry.
This is ridiculous! I had gone to bed fine with nothing on my mind actually so its just my stupid mind tormenting me again.
I know that the reason i dreamt i deserved it is because my own experiences i feel i deserved but its just stupid that my mind is so messed up by all this.