gave in...

CelticWings · 17-10-2011, 07:08 PM

was fine on saturday. even tho my original plans fell thru, i managed to make it thru, with barest of harm... but sunday, saw something on fb which sent me spiraling and unable to fight the demons inside... giving in to self-harm and can't seem to stop. to afraid to call my therapist.

Heaven Knows · 17-10-2011, 10:35 PM

Hi there.
Sorry to hear you're struggling so much right now.
I think you need to speak to your therapist and let them know you're struggling. I know it's scary to let them know that but it means they can offer you some more support.
Do you have anything to distract yourself from harming? Watching DVD's or going to a friends house or reading a book? There's a page on beating the urges here or the distractions list here - these can both be helpful when the urge to harm is strong.
Don't be too hard on yourself for giving into the urge - it happens to all of us.
If you wanna talk at all, just drop me a PM.
x Katie x

CelticWings · 18-10-2011, 03:19 AM

thanks... there are lots of suggestions... for now i opted to go to class and then come home and curl up with some of my stuffies and watch a favorite movie. maybe i'll even pull out a coloring book.

silent_scars11 · 18-10-2011, 03:25 AM

Aww, sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I'm glad you decided to go to class though, and took some time to do something enjoyable. That's really important and you deserve it. Mmm...I love stuffies! I always hug my favorites when I'm feeling really down. Does really help somewhat.

(Btw, my favorite stuffed animal of all-time is an elephant...couldn't resist as I saw you had an elephant icon.)

How are you feeling now? I hope that time you took to relax helped calm those urges a bit. Try not to be afraid of calling your therapist, that's really what they're there for. I always feel guilty for needing extra support, but really, that's what they're supposed to give and sometimes we all need a little extra help to make it through and that's okay.

Wishing you the best <3
*Hugs*

CelticWings · 18-10-2011, 05:24 PM

i called and left a message for my therapist. even tho i can't always answer my cell at work... and i can't see her as only have nuff gas for work and school w/ no extra $ for gas til hubby gets paid end of week... i did at least let her know i'm struggling.

Heaven Knows · 18-10-2011, 05:32 PM

it's good you let her know you're struggling. it's a step in the right direction - well done honey.
*hugs*
x Katie x

CelticWings · 19-10-2011, 02:28 PM

my therapist did c/b which was a surprise... she left a message for me to c/b w/ time for her to call me, so i did. another shock, she called at that time. it didn't help, i felt even worse after, but she wouldn't let me off till i'd promised i'd check in with her again on friday.

managed to make it to my dance class last night. but this morning is another story.....