A little advice or reasurrence?

Patch. · 21-02-2010, 02:05 PM

Okay, I don't know where to start, so I'm just taking it from the beginning. Sorry if it's long.

I've been self harming for 5 years now. Over the last two years, I have been feeling very down. It's getting progressivley worse, so I went to the docs about it last month. She asked me why I started etc, and what I think triggered feeling down all the time.

I cut now for different reasons than I did when I satrted. Now it's *because* I constantly feel depressed.

The thing is though, I can't pinpoint *why* I feel this way all the time. It's really confusing and scary 'cause when people ask me why, I can't give them answeres.

I don't understand myself.

I've been referred to a psychiatrist in the adolescent services.

If they ask me the same questions as the doc did... well, that's what I'm afraid of... because I honesly do not know why I feel like this, and why I hurt myself.

I'm not attention seeking, if I could change the way I feel I would. I hate this.

Does anyone have any advice or anything?

Thanks xox

crazykat · 21-02-2010, 02:22 PM

First of all well done for going to your doctors, you took a step in the right direction. It's completely ok to not know why you feel this this, there isn't always a reason and even when there is a reason sometimes it takes a bit of working through to understand why. Don't be afraid of the referral to the pysch, they aren't going to expect you to have all the answers to their questions. Take care and all the best with the referral.

Sigma · 21-02-2010, 02:40 PM

this is probably the start of working out 'why' - don't worry, the doctors/psych should understand that and be able to recommend a way forward. The process will probably take some time, but well done for taking the first step, hand on in there, it will be worth it...

Patch. · 21-02-2010, 09:30 PM

Thanks for the reasurrence. *hugs*

The replies from both of you mean a lot, so thank you <3

Sigma · 22-02-2010, 12:12 PM

what did the Dr suggest?

Patch. · 22-02-2010, 10:53 PM

The Dr referred me to Coathill hosp to see an adolescent psychiatrist..... she didn't really say much else

fireysnow · 23-02-2010, 01:45 AM

i was diagnosed with depression 7 years ago and i still dont know "why" but any good psych will do their best to help, aslong as you are willing to do your bit

Sigma · 23-02-2010, 02:07 PM

well that's good - hopefully the specialist will be able to talk you through the next steps

do you know how long the referral will take?

Patch. · 23-02-2010, 09:23 PM

Fireysnow - thanks for shareing your experience :) Does it not frustrate you though, that you don't know "why"? That's what I find most fristrateing. *hugs* Hope you're okay :)

Tokoloshe - Thanks :) they didn't tell me how long it would take, it's been a months since I saw my GP though. I think that because it's the adolescent services that takes longer, so they said.