[Taavi]

Hi... I finished school a couple of months ago and since then things have gone to **** because my family is very unsupportive and I constantly feel rejected and unloved and my emotional state just isn't great at the moment.
After dealing with sleep problems for years I went to a doctor recently and he prescribed me an antidepressant that's supposed to help me sleep.
At first it didn't help at all but I've found a way to make it work: taking a much higher dose than my doctor told me to and mixing it with alcohol. That does help. Part of me thinks that's great and part of me thinks **** I shouldn't do that, that's not healthy. And then again I don't care. At least it helps me zone out and not feel anything.
But man idk... it just doesn't feel right. I know it's not the right way to go but then again it HELPS. Idk. I don't know what to do