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Old 26-10-2020, 12:02 PM   #2571
one_step_closer
The Shadow of the Day
 
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland

Yesterday the men clearly said 'you should end your life.' But I feel like my life has already ended. I can't go forward, every step is agony and terrifying. I wish the men would tell me how to kill myself, I'm on board with this but without direction I will end up with more botched attempts. I have a telephone appointment with the CPN who is standing in for my own CPN on Wednesday. There is no point telling her this because I'm not likely to get suicide right and the men are mostly quiet. That means Lindsay = fine. I can do my shopping I can go on the bus = fine. Not phoning the crisis team = fine. There's nothing to say.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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