none of this should matter because it is pathetic but
- im being tested for breast cancer. tests start next Friday and im scared
- my brother might have to go to Syria with the army to fight. hes only 23.
- someone I know, whos only young, died last week.
and i feel overwhelmed with stress and worry and fear.
its all pathetic stuff because its all just what ifs.
i want to see my psychiatrist and see if he will put me back on quietapine or olanzapine and clonazepam. I know that he will chose olanzapine, if he lets me change my meds at all and it will make me gain weight but i need something sedating. i need something that will calm me down when im having a bad time.
I know he will go on about coping skills and self soothing and detress tolerance. but what happens when you already practice that stuff on a daily basis and you still end up self harming?
I want a med change. I think i need one to keep me safe but what if he says no because ive tried many meds before?
I know its not all about medication, but i need something to help. i cant do this alone. am i being unreasonable to ask?
I need some good prn i think.
I currently take premethrizine and valerian but that is just not doing the job anymore.
can i get some thoughts on this medication thing?
Im really stuck on how to cope. my mood has been on the low side for weeks now and the last few days have just been awful. last night was awful.
also my psych usually only sees people on a Thursday. how do I manage till Thursday with out extra meds? how do I manage if he decides i don't need extra meds?
things are getting a bit out of hand and i feel out of control. i feel like ive tried every thing distracting and it just winds me up more sometimes because it only postpones the inevitable.
I will keep myself busy but I need something to sedate me when i get distressed.
I just dunno what to do any more.