I'm feeling really low and scared. The voices and images are intense. I'm dissociating a lot.
I really need to self-harm properly so nothing bad happens to anybody.
I had my last counselling session of the year just now. I don't remember much because I keep dissociating. She told my wife she was quite concerned about me staying the safe over the break so she was going to contact my GP.
I'm scared about not having her around.
I spoke to my GP earlier because my stomach pain has been getting worse and at the same time she told me that the CCG have denied funding for my assessment for the Adult trauma centre to have my diagnosis reassessed and to access more tailored treatment. My GP said their feedback made it seem that they didn't even look at my case properly but we all knew it was a slim chance they would contribute to funding but the Trauma centre wanted to go down that avenue first. Looks like we'll be funding it ourselves somehow.
I'm scared and overwhelmed. I don't want anyone to suffer because of me. Something bad is coming. I need to stop it.
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