Part 3
I come home at the end of July 2006 and David finds his own place. Thus far, the SOL has come up stairs about 8 times. After I return home her presence at our door increases to at least once a week. Her appearance has morphed from that of an eccentric old bat to that of the bride of Chucky when she is 80.
Seriously. This woman is about 5 feet tall, would come up stairs in a dressing gown, her hair a disaster, sticking up in all places, and she sleeps in her make up, and she wears the really heavy old person make up. So she would have HUGE mascara rings around her eyes mixed with blue eyeshadow, Erin red lip stick smeared on her chin, and pink pink blush on her cheeks.
Hell, why am I telling you this, here is a picture. This is how she really looks, the only thing I did to the picture was blur out the background and crop a few people out of the sides.
So yeah. THAT is what we had at our door every night. Bride of chucky in 60 years. Seriously.
So, anyway, back to the point. In the next several weeks we are dealing with this woman at least once a week, sometimes more. We did often have friends over, usually David, Mandy and Mandy's boyfriend. Generally we would have pizza, a few beers and watch a movie. We were all obcessive about being quiet, and we never got any complaints from any other people who lived in the building, including the other downstairs neighbours.
We all HATED answering the door and would often fight about who had to deal with her when she knocked. After the 2nd or 3rd time we decided to be devious, and enacted a rule that no one could answer the door twice in a row. That way each time she came up stairs there would be a different person at the door, while anyone else in the apartment hid. We managed to keep this up for a while, and eventually every one of our friends had answer the door and we made it to about 8 visits before we repeated a person.
Oh man did it drive her crazy! She would holler and ask "what kind of business are you running here" demand to know what was going on, and in an interesting turn, she began to lecture us about the young children and dogs we had running around our apartment and were barking.
"Strange" you say "I never knew Aidey had children or a dog" well, THATS BECAUSE I DON'T!!! We had a cat! One small 8 pound CAT!
No matter how much we explain this to her, and even at one point show her the cat, she continued to insist we had small children and a dog.
Eventually our landlord gave us a call to let us know she had been complaining. We explained that she was convinced we had dogs and children, and we had neither, and he was really good about the whole thing, and explained that the previous tenants had problems with her too, but he couldn't evict her for various reasons.