i understand about your situation too. when i don't eat, i don't need to SI. when i eat, i have to SI. i think it's probably that i feel like i need to do something destructive to myself. which isn't a good thing. and i should really work on that. but don't worry, if you really want to recover, it was just a slip up. everyone has them. you're pretty incredible to have gotten help for anorexia. it sucks, bt you really do have to keep fighting and i'll bet you can do it.
*big hugs*
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