dunno what i am today. tired from the meds. still got a level of anxiousness. higher than most but becoming acceptable because now im used to it. i dunno what to do with the rest of the day. in my thread in serious or general support [cant remember where] started saying bout going on risperidone or busparone or whatever for the anxiety. but i dont think i will. i dont want dulled down anymore. dont want medication dulling me down. **** that. i'd rather be anxious. i dont seem like ive lost the plot. no one says so. so i dont think i'll make an appt to see the psych on monday. it'd be asking too much. i only saw one on wednesday. i don't need it and it's not fair on other patients who need the psychs. am i making sense? do you agree?
if im depressed its upto me to deal with it. thats another story i was only going to the psychs b4 i decided i wasn't, for heightened anxiety and about an hour of auditory hallucinations. i can deal with this and i will. i've always not liked medication. im already on a strapping 1000mg dose of carbemazapine. i need to learn to deal with how i am now and then pull back the dose of carbemazapine to say 800 then 600. am i being right?
i just, dont want/ to even have to think about mmaking these decisions.
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