i'm in a similar situation, and i really understand. it's really hard to keep from cutting sometimes...a lot of the time it feels like i'm choosing between the blade or them (my parents and best friend) ...if i cut, i'll hurt them too but i want to so bad...i'm ashamed to admit it, but as much as i love them, at the time i feel like cutting, the blade is more important :/
i think it does gradually get better though. hopefully the longer you go without cutting, the easier it will be to not cut. good luck with everything :)
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