1.What did you think of SI before you even started?
I first thought of doing it when I was 8 and couldn't sleep. I picked up a craft knife but instead cut up my curtain. But at that point I didn't think of it as a particular 'thing'. The first time I met someone else who did it was shortly before I started, by a few weeks, when I was 13 or 14. I thought it made that person someone who felt things much more than me, and I felt humbled and inferior.
2.What did you think of the people who did it?
I was at the time in love with the girl who did it mentioned above, which probably tainted my view. It was my desire to experience what she was experiencing and in doing so become closer to her and more likely to win her heart that I first tried it. Which is interesting because essentially I was copying someone else, but she was well clear of it by the time she was 16 or 17, while I at 24 am still experiencing it as an involuntary reaction. So perhaps there is something addictive about it.
3.If you have seen SI scars on people how did you react to them
Oddly enough I find it *extremely* attractive - like I literally want to be near those people as much as possible. Not necessarily to talk about the scars, just to know that they are like me. And I'm likely to develop a crush on them solely on the strength of it. I've always found it utterly compelling to see it on others. I always want to fit it and that is a sure sign of fitting in! I rarely ever mention them or bring them up but generally they will notice mine; the visible ones are all my old ones and years ago my mum drilled into me that there was no reason for me to be ashamed of my body and hiding my scars. She was right; by not trying to hide them, most people don't notice mine, despite them being large keloids; only cutters notice.
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