Hi guys
A couple of weeks ago I posted on here - I felt suicidal. Thanks to all of you who gave me the strength to keep going.
Today I am struggling not to cut again.
I have finished a letter addressed to my mum (she died 13 years ago) expressing my anger and hatred towards her. Because she ignored what was happening under her nose, I was sexually abused throughout my childhood, by my brother.
My therapist suggested that I needed to write this letter, as I have immense trouble expressing my anger. I am seeing my counsellor tonight and I am going to read the letter out loud - as if I were saying it all to mum. I am scared how this is going to leave me feeling - it hurt so much when I was writing it!
Now the letter's finished I feel guilty and ashamed - I want to cut my arm deeply - I want to feel the pain - I deserve to hurt. I hate feeling like this. I am hoping that waffling on a bit on here will sidetrack me and distract from cutting myself again!!!
Sorry to ramble on. Sorry to dump this on you all. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
.gif "blue")
Susie xx