well more my dad he hasnt spoken to me properly in over four years now, i saw him yesterday which hurt cos he totally blanked me.
I keep seeing myself lying there dead, i keep thinking of ways, when i could do it, how long i would have. its like im planning my death in my head constantly.
I cant even leave the house anymore, im scared, i dont want people to see me, i been offered to go out but i cant cos i havent got any energy to fight to make myself go out. Im a mess, I cant do it.
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