Feel on edge in a way I can't explain. I know what will help it and don't think I want to fight it. Found out today that an appt with my psych still hasn't been arranged/requested after 4 weeks and I know that when/if I get an appt it will be for a date quite a while off. She knows what she wants to prescribe but won't do it by just calling my GP (the crisis team dr has done this before and she was going to initially). Apparently, it will help with the agitation/impulsiveness etc. False promises. Sick of hanging on for the next thing that's supposed to help but doesn't end up changing anything. Just so fed up of trying. So fed up of not sleeping properly, fighting the urge to drink myself into oblivion, fighting the urge not to OD, fighting the urge not to slash myself. Pathetic and worthless, nothing wrong except you're defective. Nightmares that I can't distinguish from reality. It seems to be getting worse but I know they don't believe me, none of them can stand me.
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