my gp, my mum and sammi... no wait. shes in scotland. firetruck, i miss her. psychiatrist is an idiot, haven't seen him in months. counsellors don't work for me. they just let me yak on about the little stuff, thinking that it will lead on to the big stuff, but that never happens.
i don't have very many real friends anymore. just sammi and she's overseas. only person i can really open up to if its about ben. i have long standing phobia of dissappointing my mother which occasionally makes it hard to really open up to her. hell, i no longer have any imaginary friends, which is supposedly a good thing. but sometimes, like right now, i miss talking to some of them.
nathan's in hospital i think, (not really sure of anything right now) so i can't msg him. i've never even met him, but we sometime msg each other for support.
i'm not gonna hurt myself. i don't think i have the courage, the will to. if that makes any sense. been on the net for hours and still haven't done anything constructive. now i'm just rambling and wait for the kettle to boil.
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