Also, whilst I am drunk and splurging when I shouldn't, how do I tell my CPN about all the other **** that has occurred to me eg my boyfriend when I was 20 who f**ked with my head. Pathetic. The common factor in all these situations through my life is me. I ask for it, don't I. I'm a failure and useless and pathetic. How much longer do I have to fight this?
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