[Damnation.]

Um, kay. So. I've slapped an ED trigger on here, just to be on the safe side. Not all that keen on posting this in the ED thread, since parts of this could be detrimental to those suffering from anorexia, or bulimia. I'm also a bit of a hypochondriac when it comes to my own mental health, so I could just be overreacting here (but the way I see it is, it's better to ask a question and wind up looking a bit silly then staying quiet and worrying lots).

I have a strange relationship with food. Have done since I was about 14, and my appetite's been really strange since (in case anyone thinks it's relevant, I'm 19 now). I go through phases where sometimes I don't eat much, and then phases where I eat too much. I started skipping meals, throwing my lunch in the bin at school, and when I thought I could get away with it, I'd insist that I wasn't hungry before school to my mum, so I wouldn't eat anything all day.

When I moved in with my housemate and we were hit by hard times, I was even less likely to eat, and would survive on something like...four pieces of sushi, or an apple in one day, and that was it. I even went as far as writing down everything I ate every day for a month, keeping tracks on it, and if I ever ate a decent amount, I genuinely believed that instead of eating healthily, I had instead eaten too much, and that I was disgusting, and therefore should cut down the next day.

Now, it's the opposite end of the spectrum. If I get stressed, depressed, lonely, bored, or whathaveyou, and there's nobody around or online to talk to, then I get this compulsion to eat. Comfort eating, I guess. Never used to do it that much, but I've started doing it more as of late (about the time I started resisting the urge to cut, actually. Stopped cutting as much, and started eating more o_O); stick something in front of me, and it'll be gone in seconds D: .

I did go and see my doctor a while back about this, about how for a while I'd want to eat next to nothing, and the next day I'd eat anything that was nailed down, but the bastard interrupted me before I even finished my damn sentence, and just told me it was normal o.O. I dunno, maybe I'm just naive, but it never really struck me as normal...aaand tbh, I'm a bit reluctant to head back.

So. Yeah. I dunno, just needed to get that off my chest. I'm not sure if this is something I ought to be worried about, or if I'm just overreacting o__O

EDIT: Shit, forgot something. When I *do* get the urges to eat...I don't eat absolutely loads, so, I dunno, it just seems strange to refer to it as binge eating...?