Just feeling slightly suicidal lately, dunno if this should be in the serious section but it's concerning my mental health so...
Ever since I have been put on my anti-pychotic (Olanzapine)
for the voices in my head I thought that the drug would solve all of my problems and cure my pychosis and generally make me feel great
I started off on 7.5mg of Olanzapine and this has been increased in stages because the voices wern't going away, 10mg, 12.5mg, 15mg, 17.5mg
And now finally I'm actually starting to hear less voices on the dose
I'm on now (17.gmg)
(I still hear voices occasionally, I'd say about once/twice a week or so)
but the Olanzapine is turning me into a zombie, all I seem to do is eat and sleep, I have no energy or motivation to do
anything
I cannot stress this enough I do nothing all day but sit there like an energy zapped zombie, I'm sleeping over 16 hours a day,
I'm getting thoughts of suicide lately because I just don't know if I want this kind of life
It seems to me like I only have two choices
1. Experience incredibly destressing voices and hallucinations for the rest of my life (or however long this pychosis lasts for)
or
2. Carry on taking my anti-pychotic which is only finally doing it's job on quite a high dose but experience a total lack of quality of life
I don't know if I want to live like this anymore
but It seems like I have very little choice , either be a zombie with no life
or live a life of fear and distress
Argh
this is a stupid post, just feel scared of having to live like this for the rest of my life, I don't know if i can do it, and all I keep thinking about is suicide