[~*forever_broken*~]

Alright, once again pointless post but *shrug* you've got to have some sort of talents in life, right? Guess pointless posts is mine.
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Watching In Treatment recaps on youtube (a show on HBO, a channel that I don’t have, damn it)… Paul (the therapist) tells Sophie (one of his clients) that there is a difference between being careless and wanting to commit suicide… other episode the same client admits that the accident she was in was actually an attempted suicide… then she over doses with some pills in the therapists bathroom… They make an agreement and at the end of another episode recap she says ‘I won’t try and kill myself as long as I’m in therapy’…
Other things are thrown around like ‘attempted suicide’ and all that other ‘fun’ stuff. I have watched these recaps (on youtube, since the series is on HBO and I don’t have it) many times, the ones about the client Sophie (the girl I’m talking about above). But today it was different. I never really found them triggering though her sessions are about determining whether or not an accident she was in was actually an attempted suicide or just an accident (suicide being the obvious trigger). The fact that she over doses in one of the recaps wasn’t really a problem before either. Today it wasn’t even really the over dose that bothered that got me but the repeated references to suicide, especially Pauls observation that there is a difference between being careless and wanting to commit suicide and the agreement that Sophie will not try and kill herself as long as she is in therapy. I can’t describe what I felt… it was small, but it didn’t feel very pleasant that’s for sure. I can’t decide why I felt that either… really my only guess is that maybe it’s because I would sort of like to kill myself a lot… and that I haven’t had the guts to try it yet… I don’t know .
Sorry, just rambling…

Gosh I wish I felt better