[EyelinerAndCigarettes]

these last 3 weeks have been hell, i'm still really suicidle & then tonight, my uncle calls my dad he says

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my nan is in hospital & shes got pneumonia. The thing is, she's already had a stroke & has been severely anorexic her whole life, shes now 72 , she has been emaciated for as long as I can remember & I know her body can't take much more of this, it can't take more strain.
I'm scared she's going to die
& My dad won't take me to see her, shes usually in derby, but shes been staying with my cousion in Newport, so for once I can actually see her, I have been begging to go see her for months (I didn't see my grandad for a good year & then he died, I've been terrified thats going to happen to my nan for agers) &... this could be the only time i could see her again

I can't take anymore of this.

I can't take the pressure.

I really want to overdose on the pills i've saved up now.

I'm so scared. I'm trying not to cry, I know I'll get hysterical once I start