[lozza]

So much is going through my head right now. I know I should just call my couns already but I just cant, I cant. I can barely bring myself to look at the phone.

Have really bad things happening in head right now. Its so loud. Telling me to do so much. Need to make it stop but have nothing to make it stop. Keep think an o/d will fix the problem but parents are home and will see and freak and I just need this so bad right now, just need my head to stop. Have not SI'ed in a fortnight today, but that doesnt matter right now. Just need this to stop, just need this to stop right now.

Feel very unsafe and know that I should just call or even txt couns but I just cant. I have a safety plan and it says when I get to a certain point I have to call someone so therefore I cant txt cuz it says I have to call but I cant call so what am I supposed to do?? I dont know where these thoughts came from but its really bad and dont know how much longer can hang on for.

Just need an ending. Just need an ending to happen right now.

Lozza