[Stellata]

I wrote this some time ago, and thought it would be good to share here.

I'm not crazy.....I just need to be loved.

I'm not crazy.....I just want to be loved.

I may look, or sound, crazy, and I may have a diagnosis and take medication that might make you think I am crazy, should you have such narrow minded and stigmatised views of human suffering....but really, I've simply had a rough life, where I had to hide my real self away to survive. But I've never really lived.

I may behave like I'm crazy sometimes, and sometimes when people see me as crazy, their misunderstanding actually makes me more so. But, instead, if you listen to me and have patience, if you let me into your world, I might let you into my world, and the pain that exists there, the pain and the longing.
When I behave crazy, it usually is because I'm experiencing a dissociative flashback, and something from my shadow filled past is haunting me and not letting me go, not letting me be safe in the world now.
But.....I could come back to you and your world if you just be a little gentle and kind to me, and not laugh at me or throw back insults. You would see that I don't want to hurt or hate you really, you would see how I am just like you...I just need a little warmth and humanity....
Misunderstanding is human, and I am struggling to come to terms with my past and rebuild some personality so I can be here with you in the present. If you help me understand, and demonstrate by your treatment of me that I am a worthwhile human being, then I will no longer be that crazy woman, I will be a woman who is becoming alive.