Absolutely not! Obviosuly I dont know your exact circumstances or history but it sounds like your doctor is a complete pratt. I am recently out of psych hospital, and I certainly wouldnt consider myself psychotic, I wasnt under section ( although I would have been if I hadnt agreed to go voluntarily, so I dont know if that counts) and ok perhaps I was a bit delusional but the main reason for my admission was exactly what you said- they considered me too much of a danger to myself to be left in the community because they considered me a suicide risk.
Looking at it from a slightly different perspective, in general in the UK ( dont know where you're from??) there has been a move of emphasis away from hospital admission towards trying to keep people in the community as much as possible, hence an increasing number of home treatment/ crisis intervention services etc. Also like lots of mental health, I think hospital is pretty controversial- some doctors are more keen on it than others. And different wards specialise in different things- I was on an acute admissions ward, some of us were under section, some werent. But any one like majorly psychotic or anything when into a seperate high security ward at the hospital. I dont know what your ward was like, but perhaps part of the reason was the ward they had to admit you to wasnt the most appropriate for you? I am in no way trying to condone what your doctor has done here, Im just trying to provide some thoughts about the situation.
Is there another doctor you could discuss hospital with for a second opinion? The fact that you were admitted suggests that your ourpatient doctor at least believed that you needed to be there, because they wouldnt have admitted you unless they believed it necessary. You could try making a list of all the arguments why you think hospital is helpful to you and taking them to an appointment to discuss. Also have you considered other options such as the home treatment team, who might be able to help you in the meantime? Perhaps the doctor thinks there are other better ways they can help you outside the hospital environment. Did you ask him what he would suggest you do to keep yourself safe instead of hospital?
Although the ultimate responsibility for keeping yourself safe is unfortunately in your own hands, doctors do have a duty of care to try and help you find ways to manage that responsibility. In terms of in future not being admitted to hospital, I dont think he can say that. Hospital admissions should be managed on a case by case basis, and a day by day basis, depending on your risk at any given time. So I really wouldnt read too much into that, because they simply cant say if you are ever in such a position " oh we think you need to be sectioned because your risk is so high, however because before you didnt benefit we're not going to section you". It just wouldnt ( I hope) ever happen.
Im sorry that this has upset you so much. Your doctor does seem pretty insensitive. Do try discussing it with someone- your GP, CPN??? And dont be afraid to ask for a second opinion. At the end of the day, he says you need to take responsibility for your own safety. Well to me, one big argument you have is that you are demostrating responsibility by saying "ok, I dont feel safe enough to manage myself outside, therefore I am going to ask t be placed in an environment where I am safe", which is by no means an easy option.
Please try and stay safe and please if you feel like acting on your plan, get in touch with someone quickly. Suicide is permanent, whatever is going on for your in life right now is temporary and will pass, even if you dont feel like it ever will.
Thinking of you x
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