[Sleepless123]

i cannot put my health first.

i realised i cannot/have not been doing this and simply feel i still cannot even if i am in great need of help with it really.

Why cant i?

i cannot put it first cos of how badly i feel about myself, how much i need to destroy myself.

i can not, i will not put it first.

i just feel so badly about myself.How possibly can i?

i know youll all think im stupid but has anyone else ever been here.Ever been at that place where you feel so so bad about yourself that cos of how you feel about yourself you simply cannot put your health first?Its horrible, terrible feeling the things i do about myself.i cant even describe it.But yet i feel its all something i deserve.

Its ok if no one can relate though.

Thanks.