It doesn't need to be done and people do need you around.
Your random PMs lift my spirits so many days, and you always put up with my ranting.
How did it go at CAMHS this morning babe?
You said that last time you went in, they considered hospitalization but you ended up on meds. I don't know how it works in the UK but here, I've never heard of anyone put on meds purely for suicidality and that doesn't make sense. Seems to me like you're just postponing the inevitable--suppressing the urges while on the meds but not fixing the thoughts and problems underlying the suicidality, so once you are off the meds, or if they don't work, you're just as much a risk.
If they know you're suicidal and suggested hospitalization, could you try telling them that you feel unsafe and think hospitalization might be best? or at least tell your dad you feel unsafe and need him a lot right now...maybe getting the psych to help you talk to him would make it easier?
Hang in there.
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