Haha, in 2005 I used the same argument about it being selfish for people wanting you to keep living when you want to die. But it doesn't work that way. They want you to live for YOU, not for them. They want you to be happy for YOU, not for them. And sometimes you've just got to live for other people and try to do what they want you to if it is healthier than what you would do otherwise.
I know it sounds utterly sucky. I feel your pain. I still am angry at having to live for people other than myself, but living just for myself is selfish, and you're supposed to care for others in this world we live in - that's the only way life will be good, if people care about each other - and sometimes we've just gotta care about others until we can care about them AND about ourselves.
I hope that makes some sense. Hang tough, love, you can make it. Just keep procrastinating on that OD. Don't do it tonight, put it off til tomorrow. Then keep putting it off. You'll make it through one day at a time. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but it will be worth it in the end. I promise.
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