[Merc]

well all looked well for the ed unit.
untill...doc gets letter which states they g=have NO IP and are more a support for the DOCTORS in workigng with their ED clients...WTF??t

I called her and asked about it and told her what i read on their webaite bout IP, etc. Her response?

WE REALLY need to update that page dont we?

Thyank **** i wasnt i n the office or naywhere near her. I just hung up.

My doc has refered me to a hospital in the next city, which would mean about 3 busses, CROWDED buses..and to be hoest? I dotn know how i can manage that...unless i stone myself on my AA's first...

I dont know hether it is IP or not. I'm going to look at their website, if i can find it and see...but no more hoping.

This has been so difficult; I want to l;ose more, but if i keep on like this my hubby has said he dopesnt thihk he can stay and watch me slowly kill myslef. He doesnt WANT to leave..but to see that, well i dont blame him really.

im such a mess. My sleepers no longer worjk, im doubling the dose and gettign 1-3 hours sleep if that..like now, is 5 AM and ive slept from 3-4 AM and cant sleep anymore. I will around 9-10 but my daughter is on holidatys from school for the whole summer and i haate leaving her by herself while i sleep..but sahe is 16 and well old enough to understand and manage on her own. But i still feel lousy about it.

I guess im gonna have to ask my doc for something stronger/different. I ve tried many and this worked at first,,but TOO well. I was sleeping 15-16 hours, sometimes more. Now....nothing. I tried quiting them for a bit, thought it might help and i didnt sleep for 3 days...things got very weitrrd and kid of freaky; i wont try that again!

I still have no psych or help of any kind, my doc is really no good in SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many ways, but tro get to another one is impossible and they atre REALLY busy, sometimes a 3 hour wait!! O.o

Sitting with all those ppl is next to impossible for that lenght of time and i cat even bring a book cos i cant read anynmore...

Im just..defeated in so many ways...but now i have the necessary meds for a successful OD and itrs getting temopting....

oh i dont know...

I must sound like a whiny bitch who should just grow up and get on with life and quit hurting those i love...

sorry..pointm,ess pity0-party here isnt it??!!

thaks for reading my crap....

romp