Originally Posted by
Xani
This is obviously grief.
You need to talk to a professional about this, because there are only so many words you can read off of the internet that'll just rebound off of this numb surface you've put up as a reaction.
Find someone not related to work, or who maybe is and has gone through the same experience and talk it out with them. They will understand you the most, and they can tell you how to get past it.
I don't have anyone that I can talk to, like that, outside of work. I like my co-workers, but I don't want to mention that this bothers me. I don't want them thinking that I'm can't handle the job. I don't like it when people think I'm a weak person.
I'm also afraid it'll cause me to possibly get fired. I'm sure the company doesn't need someone like me because it costs them money and is probably a hassle with the paper work and such. I know people try to give you the impression that they care about how their workers are and such, but once someone is too much trouble, they get rid of them.
Or maybe they won't. I don't know.
I know there isn't enough EMS personnel as it is.