Please stop blaming yoursef, as everyone has already said, and I'm sure you know, deep down that you did not LET her die. You tried, you were in shock, you were scared but you snapped into action and did what you could. The way you described her injuries, it really doesn't sound like she would have made it through.
There is nothing you cuold have done to stop what happened, it's horrible and people in this world never cease to amaze me with their actions, I hope they catch the person that did this to your friend.
You are amazing for the work you do, and if it hadn't been you there trying to save her, it would have been someone else. And then would you not be thinking, what if I had been there, would I have been able to save her?
There is no need to feel the guilt in this hun honestly. Nothing to feel guilty for.
Let yourself grieve, as you said, you loved her, and you love your friend who was married to her. You have lost a friend but you didn't kill her. And you can surely be of some comfort to your friend having lost his wife, him knowing you were there, knowing what happened, that everything possible was done to save her.
Having never been through anything like this, my words might seem empty and no of course I don't understand, but I CAN understand how you must be feeling and I do feel for you, honestly. Please don't let yourself think it was your fault, please let yourelf grieve, please please, take care of you.
I doubt very much anything I have said has helped but I hope it has, even if it's in a very small way.
xxx
|