Hi Becky,
I have had similar relationships with counsellors in the past where I have laughed off the seriousness of the problem which I suppose does make it difficult for them to understand. Now though, because I still have a nervous laugh when I'm uncomfortable or I tend to joke about it and make light of the situation I just say "I don't find it funny, I just don't know how else to deal with it" and at least then the person can understand where I'm coming from. Maybe it would help you if you told your counsellor that although you are joking it because it would scare you otherwise? I am sure he will understand.
Also, could you possibly get an appointment with your psychiatrist and explain how bad you are feeling? I am sure if you tell her your thoughts on suicide and how you have been thinking about going in-patient she may be able to suggest something. I would certainly say that if you are considering taking another overdose or another way of harming yourself then it's better to reach out for help before than after and it seems like you are really trying hard to which you should be proud of.
Loti x
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