ive gone and done it again!!!!
damnit.
i even got oxy's for the damn hemorrhoids and have taken them all.
im due for my period any day now which is NOT ****ing helping.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
im not having any physical withdrawal symptoms because i basically weened myself off this month.
but the mental crap is driving me mad.
im just staying busy and trying not to think about it which is near impossible.
i go to the docs tomorrow to get my script as im on "pain management". but he'll probably post date it.....so i wont be able to fill it until whatever freaking date he puts on it.
ive been sober from coke for over a year and a half and have been having using dreams AGAIN!!!! i wont go back to it. but ive blown up like a balloon. and the weight loss itself makes me want to use because it works so fast.
plus the "high" aint that bad either!!!!
im just disgusted with myself well and truly.
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