Don't worry about ending up crying, you'd be amazed how many people (who don't have your problems) have cried at work. I once cried (tears down face type) in front of my boss/supervisor and felt the need to apologise. He just turned round and said that I shouldn't bother as he doesn't, I'm not the first to have done so and certainly won't be the last : )
Smoking definitely does not sound like a good idea for you!
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