I'm sorry I'm posting so much. I just really can't cope recently.
I can't feel happy about not cutting for so long. Because I stopped I've ODed and now started something else! Whenever I try to do something positive, bad stuff happens because of it. I'll try to help someone else with their problems and cause myself more. I try to reach out for help and just end up hurting others.
I hate how much I'm hurting my friend. I hate how I can't keep things from her to protect her. I want to get better for her, but I just can't do it.
Nothing is going good anymore. I can't do skills at gymnastics that I've been able to do for so long. I can't focus on my homework. I have exams soon and I'm worried. I've only been at my school for a month. My science exam is on everything they learned throughout the semester. It's an essential class though and I used to be in academic. So at least most of it I already know.
I want to hurt myself so badly but I know I can't and I hate it.
I'm going to go run or something. I need to get my mind off of all this.
|