i think i'm kind of like the people in NA who are always chasing the "first high" if that makes sense? i think i am chasing the feeling i got with my "first cut" because i totally idealise my first cuts and i like have this affection for my first few scars, like they are totally the best and i dont think they are ugly i think they are beautiful. my new ones, like anything done after that first period, are ugly as sin though.
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