It's not stupid at all. I lived completely alone for more than 9 years [well, I had a cat, but yeah...] And at my worst I had to go and stay with my parents, or have them come and be with me, or spend a long time on the phone with my mum. [this was before I started in therapy and on meds..]
I totally understand the feeling of needing/wanting to be looked after. It's why I eat more processed food than I should.
I think maybe you feel secure with them around, they help 'hold things together for you', perhaps? Maybe it's the comforting, unconditional contact that they give you that matters for you?
I don't have any magic solutions, but you mentioned experiences, so that's mine. Well, the short version!
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