thanks irkeninvader for the well wishes and advise.
i'm also stressed because we have been married 5 years this october and it doesn't look like we will ever be able to have children. my wife is diabetic and turning 33 in november. i have never held a stable job and my wife only works part time. and we don't even know if we're going to have a home in the near future. our chances of ever having a child are nil. and yet we would love to have kids but people (mainly so called family and friends) think we are selfish. they see us as well off because we haven't got kids but how can we be well off with one part time income and a ****ing disability payment. and i don't know if i could even cope emotionally with that kind of pressure. i just got diagnosed with bpd and my therapist says i'm not even ready for dbt therapy because of my anxiety and stress levels at the moment. i wish my wife had met someone better. she would have had her own family and been better off. she doesn't need me dragging her down anymore. nobody does. i just wish i was never ****ing born. it would do everyone the world of good if i wasn't here. i have failed as a man and as a human being. i'm never going to have what so many people take for granted. and yet it probably sounds really selfish because there are so many people worse off than me. i don't know maybe i am selfish. i'm sorry for wasting space on this board.
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