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popcorn · 25-05-2008, 05:15 PM

I can really empathize with how you feel. It is so hard to talk about this stuff, and it can be triggering etc, but at the same time it is part of what's necessary for eventually healing.

BUT! I did learn (the hard way, my first therapist didn't know) that when you're dealing with something like this, the number one thing is for you to stay SAFE and functional. If you feel like you're talking about the abuse too much, then maybe you are. A good therapist will help you deal with it in manageable bits to make it as ok as it can possibly be.

I don't know if you've got a therapist-- I do think it helps an awful lot, if you have a good one-- but I think you really need to listen to your intuition and trust that you know what's too much. Sometimes I will say, Ok, I'm going to think about/write about/talk about this hard stuff for 20 minutes, and then I'm going to do something that will make me feel good and ok.

I think you're doing a great job of putting into words how you feel. You're just dealing with some really hard stuff, that anyone would struggle with. Try to get some help, and most importantly try to stay safe and take care of yourself. There's no deadline-- if you need to put some of this on a shelf and come back to it when you're more stable, that's fine.

Take care.

25-05-2008, 05:15 PM	#5
popcorn Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: New England (USA) I am currently:	I can really empathize with how you feel. It is so hard to talk about this stuff, and it can be triggering etc, but at the same time it is part of what's necessary for eventually healing. BUT! I did learn (the hard way, my first therapist didn't know) that when you're dealing with something like this, the number one thing is for you to stay SAFE and functional. If you feel like you're talking about the abuse too much, then maybe you are. A good therapist will help you deal with it in manageable bits to make it as ok as it can possibly be. I don't know if you've got a therapist-- I do think it helps an awful lot, if you have a good one-- but I think you really need to listen to your intuition and trust that you know what's too much. Sometimes I will say, Ok, I'm going to think about/write about/talk about this hard stuff for 20 minutes, and then I'm going to do something that will make me feel good and ok. I think you're doing a great job of putting into words how you feel. You're just dealing with some really hard stuff, that anyone would struggle with. Try to get some help, and most importantly try to stay safe and take care of yourself. There's no deadline-- if you need to put some of this on a shelf and come back to it when you're more stable, that's fine. Take care.