how long have things been particularly bad with you and JG, have the past few weeks been worse than before? kids are amazing at picking up stressors in their parents lives and it sounds like your little one is showing those stressors at bedtime.
when you feel yourself getting angry at her walk away. make sure she is somewhere safe where she cant get hurt and walk away. go into another room for a few minutes and try and gather your thoughts. your attention is all that matters to her whether it be good or bad and by removing the one thing she wants (you) when she is bad it is a harsher punishment than a smack or a shout or anything. she will soon learn that to get mummy's attention she needs to act right.
as for the bedtime thing i'd put money on it thats she's picking up your worries. either that or it could be the light nights so invest in some good black out curtains. also lavender in her evening bath and a nice bedtime snuggle with a story are brilliant relaxers for a child. try and also make the last 2 hours of her day calm and relaxed. dont argue with JG at this time wait till she is asleep (and make sure she is asleep not just in bed) if you have to argue about stuff. if she goes to bed at 7pm then from 5pm onwards try and do more quiet activities, reading, puzzles etc get her body to start to slow down.
oh also has any of her daytime routines changed in the past few weeks? different mealtimes, different naptimes anything like that? they could also have an effect.
i know you probablyknow all this stuff and you've probably tried it all but hey its worth a shot right?
oh and your not a bad mother, not at all. you just have a lot of stress in your life right now.
xxxx
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