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fairy · 20-05-2008, 10:07 PM

im sorry im probably just wasting space but i just want to end it all at the moment and maybe this will help.
i've been SA by my step father for the past 7years. its only just recently come out in the open through no choice of my own, i was admitted to hospital after a suicide attempt which wouldve worked, and my mother in law to be the only person ive ever trusted to tell about my abuse told my mum and gran which she promised shed never do so now i cant trust her and talk to her anymore about this and i need to he got to me again today i cant believe it happened but it did im just too weak to fight him off i hate myself soooo much for letting him do it but i must deserve it or it wouldnt happen. i know this and i know its my fault but while i was in hospital i had a miscarriage brought on by my overdose and stress i didnt even know i was pregnant i was at least 16wks gone the nurses said it was aboy the nurses asked if i wanted to hold him but i couldnt all i could see was HIS face so the nurse held him while he took his only breath and died the nurse was horrible she said she didnt know how heartless i was and that i didnt deserve to have anymore kids and that it was my fault he died but she didnt understand the circumstances.
since coming out of hospital ive bee really bad im self harming more than normal and i wish i was with my baby, i just dont know what to do anymore. as long as im alive HE can get to me i cant see any other way.
sorry ive wasted the space and your time if youve read this.

20-05-2008, 10:07 PM	#1
fairy Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: lancashire I am currently:	i need to talk i don't feel safe im sorry im probably just wasting space but i just want to end it all at the moment and maybe this will help. i've been SA by my step father for the past 7years. its only just recently come out in the open through no choice of my own, i was admitted to hospital after a suicide attempt which wouldve worked, and my mother in law to be the only person ive ever trusted to tell about my abuse told my mum and gran which she promised shed never do so now i cant trust her and talk to her anymore about this and i need to he got to me again today i cant believe it happened but it did im just too weak to fight him off i hate myself soooo much for letting him do it but i must deserve it or it wouldnt happen. i know this and i know its my fault but while i was in hospital i had a miscarriage brought on by my overdose and stress i didnt even know i was pregnant i was at least 16wks gone the nurses said it was aboy the nurses asked if i wanted to hold him but i couldnt all i could see was HIS face so the nurse held him while he took his only breath and died the nurse was horrible she said she didnt know how heartless i was and that i didnt deserve to have anymore kids and that it was my fault he died but she didnt understand the circumstances. since coming out of hospital ive bee really bad im self harming more than normal and i wish i was with my baby, i just dont know what to do anymore. as long as im alive HE can get to me i cant see any other way. sorry ive wasted the space and your time if youve read this.