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What have I done
I am just cutting all the time. I got high last night which wasnt a good idea as I cut loads and now have no where else to do it unless I do my arms. It just made me forget how fcked I am at the moment. I have so little money and I had to live for another month and a half on pittance. My job havent called me and I've finished uni and without them I'll just stay in forever which makes me feel useless. I'm fat and im ugly and just pathetic. I have to go to a bloody hearing soon and talk about all the crap my abuser did to me.
Where can I start on that I don't know how I can do it I know Ill choke on the words because they can't reach my mouth. I need a break I need a decent counseller who doesnt believe that the only thing wrong with people is university. But my doctor is reluctant so where can I go?
I just have to accept my fate as this useless human being might as well give up trying to stop because everyone knows Im too weak and pathetic to ever get past this.
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